2019, you brought a little bit of everything!

Friends! WE HAVE A DAUGHTER! Ok, just had to get that out before I give you the run down of the last couple months of 2019.

Late September: After 9 months of no news of a referral, Nick and I decide to start planning a vacation to Ireland and Scotland for over Christmas. I’m not saying we were discouraged, we were just ready to have something to look forward to after a year of loss and not a lot of movement in the adoption process. Good thing we didn’t book any tickets!

October 8th: a night I will never forget. I was just leaving a meeting when I saw our agency was calling me. I picked up and immediately heard “Beka, are you with Nick? I need you both to be together!” I tried to squeeze our sweet case manager for more info but she didn’t budge and I finally agreed to call her back when I got home 🙂 I rushed home (with no speeding of course *eye roll*) and found Nick waiting with OUR TAX GUY LOL yup, our tax guy witnessed me bursting through the door and telling Nick, “we need to call AGCI!“ He looked at us and kept on reviewing documents so Nick and I closed our bedroom door and in mid-air of jumping onto the bed, I dialed our agency.

“It’s a GIRL!!!!” We heard through the phone as our case worker (who we have been working with for almost 3 years and who is VERY invested in us at this point) started pouring out all the details about 2 year old Shiloh Sofia.  “Now,” she said, “you ready for paperwork?” What else is new? Lol

After sharing the news with our tax guy (yeah, he was the first to know….sorry family!), we stood there looking at each other. A GIRL.

We started to hatch plans to share the news with our families but had to wait over a week for the plans to work. I’m actually super thankful we were able to treasure this time that only we knew about our daughter. But, i will say we avoided as much family time as possible so we didn’t slip!

October 19th: We already had a planned trip to TN so we took this sweet visit to share our news with some of our closest friends. These friends had been with us through the very beginning of our adoption journey and it was very special to share Shiloh with them.

October 21st: DOOMSDAY. This was the start of the worst 7 weeks of our adoption journey. Now, I’m choosing not to detail this portion of the story because there are too many people involved. To sum this time period up: there were people who thought Shiloh had some intense health challenges that they didn’t feel like Nick and I were prepared for. We worked hard to provide research, second opinions, books read, lists of people talked to, lists of doctors/therapists and everything in between, and sat through several “interviews” to prove we were willing to take on the POSSIBLE health concerns she may have. This may sound down played as you read it but if you were in the small circle of people of who knew what was going on during this time, you know different. If you want to see me get fired up, ask me about this time period in a conversation and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

To those of you who walked through this valley with us: THANK YOU. You each played a special roll in this part of the adoption. You saw us almost lose hope. You loved us and encouraged us. You were there. God used you to fight for us and with us.

Oh, did I mention we didn’t know if Shiloh Sofia was going to be ours? Yeah, basically by doing all of the items i listed above, we were told we may not be approved to continue the adoption of Shiloh. So that was fun. But God. He is great and mighty and His timing is perfect. We went from praising Him that we had a daughter to working through trusting Him that He knew the bigger picture of what we couldn’t see. I’m amazed at how easily it sounds when I’m sitting here typing this out….but let me be blunt: IT.WAS.NOT.EASY. Or pretty for that matter. The ugliness of feeling all of emotions came out: happy,sad, angry, hopeless,furious, peaceful, hopeful…and lots of crying.

And then…

December 9th. In my phone calendar this date simply reads, “Shiloh is OURS”. We received a call saying all paperwork and approvals went through and we were going to Bulgaria before Christmas! On December 14th we left from the Des Moines airport to meet our daughter on December 16th in Bulgaria.

Moral of this story: Our announcement picture was full of smiles and excitement but now you know the heartbreaking  2 months before that day. It’s easy to think our adoption went on without a hitch, but as you can see, it did not. It’s easier to look at the smiles than it is to take a closer look and see the unknowns we walked through.

But guess what?

Shiloh Sofia Wolfe was worth every tear, emotion, extra document, extra phone call.

Shiloh was WORTH.THE.WAIT.7EDDEC4B-1912-409A-B56D-D8A4CDED0BE6

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